Arrivederci 2023
What I’ll remember fondly about the year.
I just went back to my old newsletters to screenshot the selfies I put on the top of each one, and I looked so sad at the beginning of the year. My life hasn’t changed that much since then. I live in the same apartment, I spend time with the same people, but I think I felt constricted for a lot of reasons. I wasn’t able to take up space (and this doesn’t mean living chaotically and without abandon, it just means being myself), and I was suffering because of that.
Looking back at the year, I can recognize when I was bitter, wrong or unfair. I think that’s an important habit to learn as you get older. I don’t regret any of it, but it’s clocked. I can also recognize when I made respectable decisions for myself and others. I’m big on self-auditing. I say this a lot, but you guys really make me happy. Doing this letter every day keeps me accountable, and it’s created this funny equation — the more I put into my real life, the more I can put into my online life. This letter doesn’t work if I don’t have a life.
What I’ll remember fondly about 2023:
Listening to whales under the ocean in Hawaii
Finding a secret grotto on Long Island that I swam at all summer.
Driving around the farm at Le Doyenne at night with a gin and tonic in my hand, and waking up there in the morning hungover
Ash Wednesday
Seeing Close in-theater
Meeting a lot of you in person
My friend Anna’s BDSM-themed bachelorette party at Keen’s
Exploring Orcas Island
Hanging out at my alma mater FIT a lot (for my fragrance class and speaking to classes)
Buying myself a custom Clementina jacket
Facing fears like rock climbing in Maine and calling the front desk at hotels for tampons
Making new friends, learning from them, and getting to travel with them
Watching friends blow up their lives (intentionally or unintentionally) and watching them rebuild better, smarter, hotter
The thrill (and disappointment) and inevitable thrill again, of chasing Keith McNally
Learning the names of more people at the businesses in my neighborhood after living in the same apartment for 5 years
This crunchy, crispy mushroom at Tempura Matsui
Learning to blowout my hair
Frequently visiting my bodega cat
Making more money
Being right about people
Going to Naples, FL with my high school friends and ripping cigarettes and Twisted Teas for three days
Becoming really fucking good at poker
Seeing Midnight Run in the theater
Eating these peaches at Via Carota with my mom
Going on an oyster bar road trip from Connecticut to Rhode Island
Live sports
Outdoor showers